Sermons in the Year 2025
Husband’s Love, Wife’s Duty
According to the Word of God

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All New Testament verses quoted in this article are from the English Majority Text Version, and Old Testament verses are from the King James Version, unless otherwise noted.

The Chinese have a saying, ″夫情妻義″ and the Vietnamese have a similar saying, “Tình chồng nghĩa vợ.” The meaning of the sayings is ″the husband’s affection and the wife’s duty.” These two sayings are believed to originate from Confucianism, describing the relationship between husband and wife.

″The husband’s love” refers to the sincere love that a husband uses as a foundation to love, protect, care for, remain faithful to, and sacrifice for his wife.

″The wife’s duty” refers to the loyal responsibility that a wife uses as a foundation to obey, support, care for, remain faithful to, and sacrifice for her husband.

In reality, this concept did not come from Confucianism, but from God. From the very beginning of creation, when mankind was first created, the God placed the love of the wife within the husband and the wife’s obedience to the husband within the wife.

God’s Word in Genesis 2:24 says: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” This is “husband’s love.” The husband must leave his family, establish a new family with his wife, and make her the object of his love.

God’s Word in Genesis 3:16b says: “And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” This is “wife’s duty.” The wife must also leave her family, establish a new family with her husband, and wholeheartedly obey him.

Later, the Bible continues to teach about “husband’s love, wife’s duty” as follows:

“Husbands, love your own wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her.” (Ephesians 5:25).

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” (Colossians 3:19).

“Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22).

“Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18).

Today, the “gender equality movement” and the “feminist movement” demand equality between men and women in the marriage relationship, which is not in line with the Word of God. Equality between men and women in terms of legal rights and civil benefits is correct. For example: if both commit the same crime, they should receive the same punishment; if both suffer the same damage, they should receive the same compensation; if both perform equally well in a job, they should receive the same salary. However, according to the Word of God, in the context of the family, in the marriage relationship, the husband must be the one who holds authority with love and sacrifice, while the wife must fully submit to her husband, as long as his words and will do not contradict the Word of God. Of course, the wife can express her thoughts and desires, but she must obey the husband’s final decision.

“Husband’s love,” according to the standard of the Bible, is the husband loving his wife as Christ loved the Church and sacrificed Himself for the Church, without being bitter toward his wife.

The husband, following the example of Christ, who gave Himself for the Church, must also give Himself for his wife. The phrase “give himself” means to give of oneself. Christ gave up the glory of heaven, was patient with humanity’s sin, and died on the cross to redeem humanity from the penalty of sin and rebellion against the God. Likewise, the husband must forsake his honor, never argue about right and wrong with his wife in front of others, be willing to bear the cost for any wrongdoings of his wife, place his wife’s needs above his own desires, and, when necessary, be ready to die so that his wife may live.

The term “bitter” literally means to become resentful. A husband is not to be bitter toward his wife, meaning he should not treat her harshly or severely in his gestures, words, or actions; he should not harbor resentment against her in his heart; he should not be cold or dismissive toward her or belittle her. A husband should not scold his wife, use coarse or rude language with her, mock or ridicule her when she makes mistakes, or compare her to others. On the contrary, the husband must always love, be gentle, and show tolerance toward his wife; he should always seek to elevate his wife’s worth in the Lord through setting a good example and teaching her according to the Word of God.

A husband’s love for his wife, as Christ loved the Church, includes the following seven characteristics.

1. Sacrifice in Love (Ephesians 5:25): The husband is willing to give up personal interests and preferences, including his life if necessary, for the happiness and safety of his wife, just as Christ gave Himself for the Church.

2. Sanctification in Love (Ephesians 5:26-27): The husband helps his wife understand God’s Word, live according to it, and avoid impurity and sin so that she may continue to grow in faith.

3. Care in Love (Ephesians 5:28-29): The husband loves his wife as his own body; he cares for her well-being, emotions, and spiritual life by listening to her heart, sharing household responsibilities when possible, and caring for her when she is ill.

4. Faithfulness in Love (Malachi 2:14-16): The husband wholeheartedly loves and remains committed to his wife for life. He does not have lustful thoughts toward others and does not accept such advances from others.

5. Respect in Love (1 Peter 3:7): The husband respects his wife, sees her as his equal before God, and as someone with whom he shares God’s grace; he does not rebuke her in front of others or the children; he listens to her opinions and accepts those that are reasonable; he apologizes when he is at fault.

6. Forgiveness and Patience in Love (Colossians 3:13): The husband is willing to be tolerant and forgive his wife’s shortcomings and wrongdoings; he does not hold onto her past mistakes or bring them up to accuse her; he does not argue with his wife but is patient with her.

7. Leadership and Example in Love (1 Corinthians 11:3): The husband leads his wife and children to live according to God’s Word. He sets a good example with his own life. He must discipline any wrongdoings in the family appropriately, but without neglecting empathy and compassion.

“Wife’s Duty,” according to the standard of the Bible, is for the wife to submit to her husband as the Church submits to Christ, without doubt or argument, as long as the husband’s will and words do not contradict the Word of God. If the husband’s will and words contradict the Word of God, the wife should not submit. God’s Word in Acts 5:29 clearly teaches: “We must obey God rather than men.”

The wife’s submission to her husband as the Church submits to the Lord includes the following seven characteristics.

1. Voluntary in Submission (Ephesians 5:22): The wife submits to her husband not out of fear, but because she loves the Lord, trusts the Lord, loves her husband, and trusts him.

2. Respectful in Submission (Ephesians 5:33): The wife respects her husband because he is the one God has given authority over her and is responsible for her before God. She listens to her husband, does not interrupt him, and does not criticize or argue with him.

3. Gentle and Humble in Submission (1 Peter 3:4; Proverbs 15:1): The wife always shows gentleness, meekness, and politeness toward her husband; she does not raise her voice or act harshly with him.

4. Wise in Submission (1 Peter 3:1-2): The wife uses her godly lifestyle to set an example for her husband and to counsel and advise him. When the husband is wrong, she gently points out his mistakes; she is patient, prays, and asks God to open her husband’s heart so he may repent.

5. Supportive in Submission (Genesis 2:18): The wife earnestly helps her husband in all things, works together with him, and does whatever she can.

6. Faithful in Submission (Titus 2:4-5): The wife is faithful in fulfilling her duties toward her husband by loving her husband and children and managing the household. She does not have lustful attitudes toward others nor accept such attitudes from others.

7. Faith-filled in Submission (1 Peter 3:5-6): She believes that submitting to her husband is submitting to the Lord, so she has peace and is without fear.

“Husband’s love, wife’s duty” does not mean that only the husband loves the wife while the wife does not need to love the husband, or that only the wife submits to the husband while the husband does not need to listen to his wife.

The command to love others as oneself acknowledges that there must be love between people. In the marriage relationship, the husband actively loves the wife, while the wife responds to the husband’s love by loving him and submitting to him. The wife is active in her submission to the husband, and the husband responds by listening to his wife and accommodating her wishes. When the wife speaks in accordance with God’s Word, the husband must listen. God’s Word clearly teaches in Ephesians 5:21: “Subjecting yourselves to one another in the fear of God.”

In reality, when husband and wife behave toward each other according to God’s Word, their relationship is always good and happy. This also sets a good example for their children, reflecting the glory of God in the world.

Furthermore, God uses the relationship between husband and wife to teach God’s people about the special relationship between the Lord Jesus and His people in the Church. The more the husband and wife act according to God’s Word, the more they come to understand the relationship between the Lord and themselves and their family.

Through the husband’s wholehearted love for his wife, protecting her, sacrificing for her, and fulfilling her legitimate desires, both the husband and wife learn about the deep love of Christ for His people.

Through the wife’s wholehearted submission to her husband, helping him, caring for him, and standing by his side, both the husband and the wife learn about the duty of God’s people toward Christ.

Each day in the life of a couple in the Lord should be filled with joy, peace, contentment, and overflowing with the God’s blessings. Any shortcomings or mistakes, whether from the wife or the husband, must be resolved immediately according to God’s Word.

Certainly, when a husband and wife treat each other according to God’s Word, there will be no obstacle in their marriage that cannot be overcome. On the contrary, their marriage will bring blessings to both the husband and the wife, as well as to their children, for generations to come.

May the Word of God sanctify us and strengthen us. May we all stand firm in faith and remain faithful to the Lord until the day Christ returns. May the love, grace, and fellowship of the Triune God, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, cover all of you. Amen!

Timothy Christian Huynh
Priscilla Christian Huynh
08/02/2025

Note:

About Using “*God” or “the God” and “holy spirit”

Wherever the Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek texts of the Bible uses a definite article with a noun to denote GOD, we translate it into English as “*God” or “the God” to refer to God the Father. We understand that “God,” without a definite article, was used as a collective noun for all and any of the three Persons of the Godhead. And “God,” with a definite article, was used to refer to God the Father.

In the Greek manuscripts of the New Testament, the term “holy spirit” (πνευματι αγιω) without the definite article “the” (το) is used to denote the power of God, which is given by God the Holy Spirit. “The Holy Spirit” (το πνευματι το αγιω) is God, and “holy spirit” (πνευματι αγιω) is the power that comes from God.