22013 Commentary on the Song of Songs – Sexuality in The Song of Songs

22013 Commentary on the Song of Songs
Sexuality in The Song of Songs

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All the Bible verses quoted in this article are from the King James Version, unless otherwise noted.

First of all, we offer our thanks to our God. We thank Him because He has given us important teachings about love between a man and a woman and the married life through The Song of Songs. Through the Word of God, we have come to understand the following fundamental truths:

Sexual instinct and the need for sexual relations are God’s gifts to humanity.
The sexual need is to be fulfilled only within the marital relationship between a man and a woman.
The sexual activities of a married couple are sacred and holy before God. Couples must always maintain the sanctity and purity of their intimacy. Absolutely avoid using sexual toys, and do not read, listen to, or watch pornographic materials (Hebrews 13:4).
Sensations in our physical bodies, from head to toe, when in contact with the opposite sex, can arouse sexual desire and lead to the temptation to commit fornication. Therefore, if a couple is not yet officially married, they must absolutely avoid physical contact with each other, even as minor as brushing hair or holding hands. Although an engaged couple is considered to have the status of husband and wife, they are not officially married until the wedding ceremony is conducted. Engaged couples must keep each other sexually pure until the wedding day.
The sexual organs (the male’s penis and the female’s vagina) serve to propagate the human race and actively contribute to the creation of sexual pleasure. However, other parts of our bodies, though not sexual organs, can still stimulate sexual desire and experience sexual pleasure. Therefore, intimacy involves the couple mutually experiencing sexual pleasure throughout the entire body through actions such as embracing, caressing, kissing, tasting, smelling, hearing, and intercourse.
The sexual acts of a married couple must be consensual, must bring pleasure to both parties, should not cause discomfort or pain to either party, must be hygienic, must not degrade human dignity, and must not follow superstitious customs. Only then will the couple’s intimacy align with God’s standards: beneficial, edifying, and for the glory of God.
Contraception in all forms is contrary to God’s command given to humanity (Genesis 1:28; 9:1). It also reflects a lack of faith in God. For God knows whether we are capable of raising children, and He is the One who can enable us to have children or not. Children are an inheritance and an eternal reward from God.

“Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” (Psalm 127:3)

So, why would we desire to avoid receiving the inheritance and eternal reward from God by practicing contraception?

Next, we rely on the grace of God to present our understanding of the Bible verses in The Song of Songs that describe the sexual actions of a married couple. We are merely sharing our insights in the grace of God and not declaring them as beliefs that all God’s people must accept. Brothers and sisters may choose to accept or reject our interpretation. What is important is:

1. Each person must compare every teaching with the Scriptures to see if any part of the teaching contradicts the Bible (Acts 17:11).

2. Each person must come before the Lord, presenting the teachings they have heard or read, asking the Lord to help them discern the truth in the teachings; and if the teachings are consistent with the Scriptures, ask the Lord to grant them the strength to apply them in their lives (John 16:13).

3. Each person should only do what they are fully convinced is beneficial, edifying, and glorifying to the Lord’s name (Romans 14:23; 1 Corinthians 10:23, 31).

We will go through each Bible verse that describes the sexual actions of a married couple in The Song of Songs, from chapter 1 to chapter 8. We also ask that brothers and sisters note that the term “lover” used in this discussion refers to one’s husband or wife.

The Song of Songs 1:2 “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth…”

This expresses the sexual desire of Shulamite when Solomon and she had pledged to marry each other but had not yet had the wedding ceremony. According to Israeli tradition, the betrothal period lasts about a year. Although they were considered husband and wife in name and by law, the betrothed couple were not permitted to engage in sexual relations until the wedding ceremony. The first act of intimacy between the couple was to be immediately after the wedding.

Even though they were not allowed to be intimate during the betrothal period, the betrothed couple could still yearn to enjoy sexual pleasure with each other. Shulamite desired her lover to kiss her with his mouth. A mouth kiss differs from a lip kiss. While a lip kiss involves lightly touching the lips to the kissed spot, a mouth kiss uses the lips, tongue, and teeth in caressing, sucking, licking, and gentle nibbling to create sexual pleasure for both parties. Both lip and mouth kisses can be given on various parts of the beloved’s body. Therefore, the meaning of The Song of Songs 1:2 is: Shulamite longed for Solomon to kiss her with his mouth all over her body.

The Song of Songs 2:3 “As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.”

This also represents Shulamite’s sexual desire when Solomon and she had pledged to marry each other but had not yet had the wedding ceremony. In The Song of Songs 1:2, Shulamite longs for her lover to kiss her, while in this verse, she desires to kiss her lover. Shulamite compares her lover’s body to a prized apple tree and wants to savor the taste of her lover’s body. The term “fruit” used here is singular, referring to a single fruit, symbolizing the sexual organ.

In the literary treasure of the Near Eastern peoples, the apple tree symbolizes romance in love and reproduction through sexuality. The fruit of the tree represents the sexual organ of the tree, as it ensures the continuation of the tree’s lineage. Similarly, the fruit of a lover represents the sexual organ of the lover, which is responsible for continuing the lineage. In other words, Shulamite dreams of sitting under Solomon’s shade and using her mouth kisses to kiss Solomon’s sexual organ. The term “palate” encompasses all parts of the mouth: teeth, gums, tongue, the inside of the lips, the inside of the cheeks, the palate, saliva, and so on. These are the parts that contribute to the sensation and enjoyment when we eat, drink, taste, and kiss. Shulamite implies that she would experience sexual pleasure in her mouth when she kisses Solomon’s sexual organ.

A question that arises here is: Can God’s people kiss with their mouths on all parts of their spouse’s body, including the sexual organs? The Bible does not provide a direct answer, but there is certainly no place in the Bible that prohibits this. On the contrary, The Song of Songs 2:3; 4:11-16; 5:1; and 8:2 all imply that spouses use their mouth kisses to kiss each other’s sexual organs.

Some people believe that the sexual organs are impure. However, the truth is that the entire body of God’s people is a temple of God, and no part of it can be deemed impure. Romans 12:1 teaches us to present our bodies to God without excluding any part. As long as the body is clean, we can use our mouth kisses to kiss all parts of our beloved’s body.

Some argue that since the mouth is not a sexual organ, it should not come into contact with the sexual organs. A counter-question is: If the hands are not sexual organs, should we also refrain from using our hands to caress the sexual organs of our beloved? We need to remember that the entire body, from head to toe, has the capacity to create and experience sexual pleasure. Our whole body is endowed with the function of providing sexual pleasure to our beloved and receiving sexual pleasure from our beloved.

The sexual organs, with their primary function being the propagation of the lineage, are just one of the parts of the body capable of generating and receiving sexual pleasure, not the only part involved in sexuality. Marital intimacy is not limited to the intercourse of two sexual organs but is the harmonious unity of pleasure throughout the entire body. The Book of Proverbs lists the intimacy between a man and a woman as one of the wondrous things.

“There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.” (Proverbs 30:18-19).

If someone believes that a married couple can use mouth kisses to kiss each other’s sexual organs with their beloved’s consent, then they should thank God and enjoy the sexual pleasure of kissing. If someone does not believe that God’s people are allowed to kiss each other in this way, then they should refrain from doing so. Or if the beloved does not enjoy such kissing, then one should not force them. One of the basic principles of marital intimacy is that: sexual actions between spouses must be consensual; they should bring pleasure to both parties without causing discomfort or pain to either; they must be hygienic; they should not degrade human dignity; and they should not follow superstitious customs.

The Song of Songs 2:6 “His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me.”

The Song of Songs 8:3 “His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.”

Through these two Bible verses, we discover an interesting detail: the wife lies on the left side of the husband. During the wedding ceremony, the wife should stand on the left side of the husband, as the husband’s right hand symbolizes the strength to protect his wife, while the left hand symbolizes the love that envelops her. Standing on the left also places her closer to the husband’s heart, as the heart is slightly tilted to the left, implying that the wife is very close to her husband’s heart, and the heart symbolizes love.

The left hand placed under the head implies that the bodies of the two are close together. The right hand embracing suggests that the husband’s right hand caresses his wife’s body. This is the initial action in their intimacy. The husband’s caress of his wife’s body brings arousal and a desire for intimacy to both parties. This will be followed by mouth kisses.

The Song of Songs 4:6 “Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the mountain of myrrh, and to the hill of frankincense.”

“Until the day break and the shadows flee away” means until the early morning breeze dispels the night, marking the daytime of a new day (a new day starts after sunset, ending the old day, encompassing both night and day). Solomon tells Shulamite that throughout the night he will immerse himself in intimacy with her. Shulamite’s breasts are compared to the mountains of myrrh, and her vulva is compared to the hills of frankincense, with Solomon being the only one allowed to explore. A clean, fragrant body is one of the important and essential aspects of marital sexual relations, helping to prolong arousal and heighten sexual pleasure.

The term that is translated as “get” (H1980) is the Hebrew verb “to go, to walk,” which metaphorically means lifestyle, including gestures, attitudes, and actions in life, used here to imply the vibrant acts of love expressed through sex that Solomon will perform on Shulamite’s body. These actions include embracing, caressing, kissing, tasting, smelling, hearing, and having intercourse. Usually, the husband is proactive in sexual activity, but the wife should also show active responsiveness. There are also times when the wife takes the initiative, as mentioned in Song of Songs 2:3; 5:16; 7:13.

The Song of Songs 4:11-16

11 Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon.

Solomon kisses Shulamite on her lips and then kisses deeply into her mouth. The sweet fragrance from Shulamite’s lips and mouth gives Solomon sexual pleasure. The verse implies that their lips caress each other, and their tongues intertwine and taste each other.

The metaphors of “drop as the honeycomb” and “honey and milk” suggest the most delightful flavors. It is not necessarily about being literally as sweet as honey and milk.

In addition to having clean and fragrant bodies, the couple’s clothing should also be clean and fragrant. Perfume and the scent of cosmetics contribute to arousal and sexual stimulation. Makeup and applying perfume, if not flashy, extravagant, or wasteful, are permitted for God’s people, as they do not contradict the Bible.

12 A garden inclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.

The closed garden symbolizes that Shulamite’s entire body has not yet experienced sexual contact with anyone. The locked fountain and sealed spring represent that Shulamite has not had sexual pleasure with anyone. When a woman experiences sexual pleasure, a fluid called vaginal lubrication, or “sexual fluids,” is secreted to lubricate the vagina. This lubrication is produced by the Bartholin glands located on either side of the vaginal opening when a woman is sexually aroused.

This verse also implies that Solomon is the first to awaken sexual pleasure in Shulamite and is the first to taste her sexual fluids through the act of kissing her genital area with his mouth.

13 Thy plants are an orchard of pomegranates, with pleasant fruits; camphire, with spikenard,

14 Spikenard and saffron; calamus and cinnamon, with all trees of frankincense; myrrh and aloes, with all the chief spices:

These two verses describe the fragrance and sensuality of Shulamite’s body that Solomon experiences through kissing her entire body with his mouth. Shulamite’s entire body stimulates sexual desire and satisfies Solomon’s sexual longing. Shulamite and her love, expressed through their intimacy, are portrayed as a multitude of fragrances, spices, herbs, and precious, beneficial, and delightful experiences for Solomon. Solomon compares the sexual pleasure he receives from Shulamite’s body to the joy and happiness of being in the Garden of Eden.

The term translated as “plants” (H7973) is a Hebrew flural noun that means “buds, shoots, branches” and symbolizes the various parts of Shulamite’s body.

15 A fountain of gardens, a well of living waters, and streams from Lebanon.

The phrase “a fountain of gardens” refers to Shulamite’s sexual abundance. “Living waters” is a flowing stream, indicating Shulamite’s positive response to arousal and pleasure, leading to the release of sexual fluids. “Streams from Lebanon” refers to the cool, fragrant water from the snow-capped peaks of the cedar forests on Mount Lebanon, symbolizing the taste of Shulamite’s sexual fluids.

16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.

In the land of Canaan, the north wind brings freshness, while the south wind brings warmth during the two seasons of hot and cold. Throughout the year, sexual desire awakens love when it is ready for the physical union of husband and wife. Just as the wind blowing through the garden disperses the fragrances far and wide, so does the longing for intimacy enhance the attractiveness of the body.

From the top of her head to the soles of her feet and back again, Shulamite’s body is ripe for intimacy, exuding a special fragrance that invites Solomon to engage with her. Science confirms that when we are sexually aroused, our pores release a chemical called “sex pheromones,” whose scent stimulates sexual desire in our partner.

Shulamite has completely dedicated her body to Solomon: My garden has now become your garden. My body has now become your body.

Shulamite invites Solomon to enjoy sexual pleasure from her body. Sexual pleasure is the precious fruit, and eating this precious fruit means satisfying sexual desire through intimacy. The noun “fruit” used here is singular, referring to one fruit, symbolizing the genitalia. This also implies that Shulamite is inviting Solomon to use his mouth to kiss her genitalia. “Come into his garden” means engaging in intimate acts.

The Song of Songs 5:1 “I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk…”

Solomon completed the first intimate encounter with his beloved on their wedding night. Solomon confirms Shulamite’s virginity, as he is the first to have intimate relations with her, receiving her purity. Solomon is completely satisfied with the sexual pleasure experienced with Shulamite.

“I have gathered my myrrh with my spice.” Solomon enjoys Shulamite’s virginity across her entire body. He is the first to have intimate relations with her and brings her to experience sexual pleasure.

“I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey. I have drunk my wine with my milk.” Solomon has enjoyed oral kisses on Shulamite’s lips and genitalia. He is ecstatic as he tastes her saliva and sexual secretions.

The Song of Songs 5:16 “His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely…”

Shulamite expresses her sexual pleasure as she kisses Solomon with her mouth. She tastes the sweetness when she kisses deeply into Solomon’s mouth. She enjoys kissing all over Solomon’s body.

The Song of Songs 7:7-8 “This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes. I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples;”

Solomon refers to the act of embracing Shulamite’s body and caressing, touching, and kissing her breasts before they engage in sexual intercourse. Shulamite’s breasts provide pleasure to Solomon’s mouth, and her pleasant breath enhances his pleasure.

Before intimacy, couples should share the same food and drinks, bathe, brush their teeth, and clean their tongues thoroughly. They might also apply a small amount of their partner’s favorite fragrance. This way, the scent of their skin and breath, combined with the fragrance, will stimulate and increase sexual pleasure.

If one person eats food with onions or garlic and the other does not, the person who did not eat will be very uncomfortable from the smell of onions or garlic on their partner’s breath, even if their partner has brushed their teeth and cleaned their tongue, as the smell still lingers. However, if both eat food with onions or garlic, neither will notice the smell on their partner’s breath. Both husband and wife should maintain good oral hygiene, brushing their teeth and cleaning their tongues after each meal. If they have gum issues or cavities, they should seek treatment promptly to protect their health and keep their breath fresh.

The Song of Songs 7:9 “And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.”

In marital sexual relations, deep mouth-to-mouth kisses provide significant pleasure and also represent a form of physical unity between the couple. According to medical research, a ten-second kiss can transfer approximately 80 million bacteria between partners. Many people mistakenly believe that sexual intercourse is the only form of sexual activity. However, embracing, kissing, and caressing each other with sexual pleasure are all aspects of sexual intimacy. Intercourse is merely one action among many in sexual activity. Couples who frequently kiss each other often share similar types of bacteria in their bodies, which strengthens their emotional bond.

Solomon skillfully compares the flavor of a kiss to that of a fine wine. Perhaps while Solomon was asleep, Shulamite kissed him, and he experienced the exquisite pleasure of being kissed by his beloved while he was sleeping.

The Song of Songs 7:13 “The mandrakes give a smell, and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits, new and old, which I have laid up for thee, O my beloved.”

The term “mandrakes” literally refers to a type of fruit believed to have aphrodisiac qualities and enhance fertility. Figuratively, it describes how every part of Shulamite’s body exudes a fragrant allure and her body is ready for conception and childbirth.

The term “gates” literally means gates or doors of a garden. Since Shulamite’s body is likened to a paradise, her mouth and vulva are seen as the entrances to sexual pleasure for Solomon. Before marriage, Shulamite belonged solely to herself. After marriage, she belongs to both herself and Solomon, which is why Solomon referred to it as “my garden” (5:1), and Shulamite referred to “our gates” when talking about her body.

The phrase “all manner of pleasant fruits, new and old” implies both old and new actions in Shulamite’s expression of oral kisses and sexual intercourse. Shulamite is ready and dedicated these actions exclusively for Solomon. Once again, we see the wife’s initiative in their intimacy being emphasized.

Through this verse, we also understand that sexual actions are naturally known and explored by humans in married life. God’s people do not need to read or view pornography to learn sexual techniques. Such materials are created to serve illicit desires. God’s people should not bring them into their homes, as they would defile the marital relationship (Hebrews 13:4).

The Song of Songs 8:2 “I would lead thee, and bring thee into my mother’s house, who would instruct me: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate.”

Shulamite plans that, during the early spring outdoor excursion, she will take Solomon to visit her mother’s house. She anticipates that her mother will suggest that she allow Solomon to freely kiss her entire body with oral kisses. Specifically, she should let Solomon kiss her genital area and enjoy the essence of sexual fluids as one would savor a fine wine.

While Solomon’s body is likened to an apple tree and his genital area to an apple (2:3), Shulamite’s body is compared to a pomegranate tree and her genital area to a pomegranate (8:2). Solomon using his lips and tongue to kiss and caress her clitoris will bring Shulamite to sexual pleasure and stimulate the flow of sexual fluids. Solomon tastes these fluids as one would savor fine wine, enhancing his own sexual arousal.

With this, we conclude our examination of the Bible verses related to sexual actions in The Song of Songs.

We understand that our interpretation in this article may be considered by some as too bold and may be condemned by others. However, those who wish to condemn us must recognize that sexual relations between spouses are a gift from God and are sacred. Through this, God grants us an inheritance and eternal rewards, which are our children.

Sex within marriage is a gift from God. When practiced improperly, it constitutes the sin of fornication. Just as sexual relations outside of marriage are compared to the unfaithfulness of God’s people and idol worship (Ezekiel 23), sexual relations within marriage symbolize the faithfulness of God’s people to Him.

“And they committed whoredoms in Egypt; they committed whoredoms in their youth: there were their breasts pressed, and there they bruised the teats of their virginity.” ( Ezekiel 23:3)

“Neither left she her whoredoms brought from Egypt: for in her youth they lay with her, and they bruised the breasts of her virginity, and poured their whoredom upon her.” ( Ezekiel 23:8)

“For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses. Thus thou calledst to remembrance the lewdness of thy youth, in bruising thy teats by the Egyptians for the paps of thy youth.” ( Ezekiel 23:20-21)

The primary purpose of The Song of Songs is to express the sacred and exalted nature of marital love and the profound joy found in sexual relations between spouses. Clearly and directly addressing what God teaches us about sexual relations in marriage is both appropriate and necessary, and a person entrusted with teaching the Word of God should not shy away from it. We should thank God for providing us with specific guidance on marital sexuality in the Scriptures.

May the guidance of the Holy Spirit help us understand the content of The Song of Songs and apply it to our married lives. May we always live to please God and be a joy to Christ. Amen!

Timothy Christian Huynh
Priscilla Christian Huynh
12/01/2018